Original charm

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Wed, 05 Dec 2012 22:43:18 -0800

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Wed, 05 Dec 2012 11:40:09 -0800

Part. 2 LOST

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 11:45:00 -0800

I miss your smile but I miss mine even more. When you left so did all my happiness, you took more then you’ll ever know. I depended on you so without you I can’t feel. I can’t breath, I’m frozen to the ground. I’m holding a gift for you, how stupid I was. It was going to be a special night filled with champagne and love. It was a night I won’t ever forget that I relive everyday. Their advice I can’t take, they don’t know my pain. This is to be untrue but you can’t feel my struggle. Its greater then yours, I’m arrogant and young. Maybe I gave you too little, maybe I gave you too much…sorry my pain will only burden you. The days were empty and you filled that void but you’re gone so what now? The days blend together, the only distinction is which day hurts more. The dreams you haunted have became my escape, now I spend every night with you. I look into the past much too often, I can’t change the truth. I feel us fading and becoming strangers, will you hold on to our memories. You gave me comfort, she was mine and would never be yours. I was selfish, I write this to hurt you. I want to hate you but you helped me grow. Together forever I thought but that was the child in me. July 21st and 28th I will always remember, that was a better time. Sometimes our vision only becomes clear after our eyes are washed with tears….

RUN BOY RUN

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 00:23:00 -0800

i write my pain, i figured this would help maybe. I don’t have anyone to talk to so i guess im talking to you. The pain pours out of my pen quick, i just cant write fast enough. The pain ceased but its back again, she was so warm i was so cold. We all pray when in need no matter what we believe in, so i prayed for the first time in years. I can feel the hate for myself growing, i should’ve seen it coming. Run Boy Run. How could i make any girl love me, im so insecure so give me that reassurance. She was a complicated woman, most are but her so much more…i was over my head. I took your things down so i wont think about you but i wont throw them away so i wont forget about you. I wait for that phone call every day, i know it will never come..you know better. Page after page i write i will never run out of good things to say about you. Did i scare you? did i push too hard? my mind rambles again, i worry too much. I looked and found flaws in every girl before, i looked for yours and i found none, i tried to hate you but i couldn’t. When you don’t want to feel, death can seem like a dream..i fight the urge every day but i know ill only make it worse. My mind is battling, oh im so lost… everyday im reminded of you. I thought sleep would give me peace from you but even then you still haunt my dreams. This mask i must put on, oh how i hate this mask. Hello old Friend. They are catching on to me, that smile is fading. This began as a story but seems much more like pity, oh how i want your pity..pity wont win you back, i don’t want you back. That touch was so strange, it gave me confidence and took the emptiness away. You told me your biggest secret, i still lie to myself i cant even face the truth. I cant escape no matter how hard i try, running is a victory. Deep in the ocean, dead and cast away where innocence is burned in flames im frozen to the bones i am. I don’t have anything to give you but my thoughts, not a day went by when you didn’t give me butterflies. I’m buried beneath the sand get me away from this desolate wasteland. If the page gets wet know its from my tears…..

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Sat, 01 Dec 2012 22:42:38 -0800

thoughts of you

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 21:58:33 -0800

These nights alone are getting harder, I’m in the dark alone with my thoughts. I’m drawn to the moon, the air is cold. My heart grows weaker and my bones grow thinner, I think about the times of us. I wonder how maybe things couldve been different, I wonder how many times ill go through this? Will it always be so hard? Is it because you were my first? I get too attached and is considered a weakness. I’m weak I can’t even get past the thought of you when I know I’m just a memory to you. I grow darker as the night gos on.

do you ever miss me? or have you already moved on

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 18:51:04 -0800

I just wrote 25 pages in 2 hours about her..I should burn it

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:54:33 -0800

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Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:51:06 -0800

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Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:50:31 -0800

She filled that void, now shes gone. so what now??

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 22:11:25 -0800

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Sat, 24 Nov 2012 22:10:36 -0800

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Sat, 24 Nov 2012 22:09:18 -0800

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Sat, 24 Nov 2012 22:02:02 -0800

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Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:14:26 -0800

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Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:13:11 -0800

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Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:12:14 -0800

damm..ill be pist if i get that channing tatum one

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:11:43 -0800

damm..ill be pist if i get that channing tatum one

whoa..

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:05:54 -0800

whoa..

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Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:03:47 -0800